I woke up at 3 am with a horrible ache. My chest and stomach were both hurting… it felt like there was a great weight on my ribs and it hurt slightly to breathe… I feel like I‘m going to throw up… I tried sleeping on my pillow and it only hurts more… I can’t make the pain go away… I keep crying, it’s aching so much… and even my back hurts too… it’s 4 am now… I have to be up in two hours… I can’t sleep… I’m hurting and I feel sick and I have no comfort… I wish I could call him… I wish I could hear his voice… I want to stop hurting so much… somehow he comforts me…

I give up… I give up on breathing… I give up on living… I give up on everything… I’m tired of this same old story repeating the same old things with a different twist… I’m tired of it… it’s never going to change no matter what I do… so why should I even try? Why should I keep waiting, and hurting, and crying? Why should I keep stopping myself from doing something stupid just because you ask me to? I just want to disappear, die away, never been seen again, it’s not like many people really care… most of my friends surely don’t, I doubt they’ll even notice I’m gone…

…I still hurt so much… why’s it hurt….? …no one can help me……